Monday, August 8, 2011

Editing

7 things:

1-Credible sources are sited in all (ethos)
2-The Marijuana essay also gave the reader a timeline and background info on the topic.
3-The Marijuana essay ended strongly, tieing up everything that was mentioned in the story and addressing "Ms. Healy"
4-The transitions were smooth, adding to the flow of the essay
5-In the steroid essay, the writer addresses the reader at the beginning of the story, asking him/her to picutre a scenario.
6-Stories evoke emotion for the reader (pathos)
7-Marijuana essay presented us with statistics.

5 things:

1-I need to clear up the author's main point I am rebutting.
2-Rewrite my introduction to make my paper's purpose less ambiguous.
3-I need to work out a couple transitions (flow)
4-I need to establish ethos.
5-Stronger conclusion.

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