Editing

7 things:

1-Credible sources are sited in all (ethos)
2-The Marijuana essay also gave the reader a timeline and background info on the topic.
3-The Marijuana essay ended strongly, tieing up everything that was mentioned in the story and addressing "Ms. Healy"
4-The transitions were smooth, adding to the flow of the essay
5-In the steroid essay, the writer addresses the reader at the beginning of the story, asking him/her to picutre a scenario.
6-Stories evoke emotion for the reader (pathos)
7-Marijuana essay presented us with statistics.

5 things:

1-I need to clear up the author's main point I am rebutting.
2-Rewrite my introduction to make my paper's purpose less ambiguous.
3-I need to work out a couple transitions (flow)
4-I need to establish ethos.
5-Stronger conclusion.

Lady Gaga

  In this article, Camille Paglia writes that Lady Gaga is not a sex icon for many reasons. She is labeled as a fake for her wardrobe and hair choices as well as her fabricated loser persona. She wears crazy outfits topped with outlandish wigs. Surely someone who dresses like this doesn't belong in the category of sexy. She is a sensation in night clubs and bars (where her young fans typically are) and looks the part as well. She claims to want to help everyone love themselves and be comfortable in their bodies. She calls them her "monsters" and she says that she can relate to feeling like them; however, she went to an expensive private school that Paris Hilton attended in New York. She also criticizes Gaga's videos and the content within them. Samantha Cohen kind of helps Gaga out in "The Gaga Stigmata" blog. She relates Gaga's video content to literary aspects and Chinese symbols, increasing her credibility.

Proposal

I am evaluating the show "The Biggest Loser" as a bad influence on viewers because:

-it adds to negative stereotyping on Americans and overweight individuals.
-it preys on people insecurites, adding to the media's influence/pressure that people should be thin.
-it discourages healthy weight loss by making it seem imperative and something that needs to be done harshly/immediately (trainer's attitudes/techniques).

Oliver, J. Eric. Fat Politics. New York, NY:Oxford University Press, 2006. 120-73. Print.

-This book provides insight on how the panic over obesity is actually the problem.

Sisson, Mark. "The Biggest Loser… Is the Audience ." Mark's Daily Apple. The BlogStudio, 29 10  
     2009. Web. 1 Aug 2011. <http://www.marksdailyapple.com/biggest-loser/>.

-This blog talks about how people are affected by the show in general.

Thomas, Samantha, Jim Hyde, and Paul Komesaroff. "'Cheapening the Struggle:' Obese People's
      Attitudes Towards The Biggest Loser." Obesity Management. 3.5(2007): 210-215. Print. 

-This journal provides a scholarly overview of how viewers are psychologically influenced by the show.

Cultural Interests

The Biggest Loser is a popular show where overweight people compete to lose weight. If they lose the most weight and win the contest, they win a cash prize. Appropriately, it aired first in America in 2004. Globally, Americans are associated with being overweight. This show adds to that stereotype. Also, it adds to the media based/social pressure to be thin. This show teaches viewers that being heavy is a quality that should lower their self-esteem and feel bad about themselves. While it is argued and proven on some accounts about health benefits of weightloss, who said that being skinny should be the norm? Author Eric Oliver argues in his book Fat Politics that "it's not obesity, but the panic over obesity, that's the real health problem." This show is a prime example of this.

Cosmopolitan Magazine has been a popular read for 125 years. While there are many topics addressed between the pages, the primary focus is on sex and sexuality. I have mixed feelings about this and so does the general public from what I gather. On one hand, it is a good thing that women can read about other people's experiences with sex and gain information on different aspects of sex. For a long time, sex and sexuality were kept hush-hush. As time progresses, it is important that we become more liberal and accepting instead of stuck in our conservative ways that breed shame and fear into things we should celebrate...like our sexuality. On the other hand, Cosmo feeds America's need for stereotypes. All of the women are portrayed as thin, neighboring articles about how to lose weight. The men are all portrayed as muscular and "ideal." Women are the main audience for this publication, and the impact it has on them is crucial. While they are promoting open mindedness and self awareness, they are also pushing those who don't fit the stereotypical mold into a corner.

Heidi Montag is a reality star from "The Hills"-a show documenting (though scripted) the daily lives of wealthy, beautiful people in California. She began her stardom as a thin, small-breasted, attractive girl, but now has a completely new appearance. She has undergone 10+ plastic surgeries, and some of them twice. While many people think she is a bad example of someone to show their kids, I think she is a great teaching model for young women. Because her life is over-documented in the media, it is easy to find out about her endeavors. In an interview with Life and Style magazine, she discusses her surgeries and how they have impacted her. Through this interview and some internet research on Heidi, it is easy to gather the message that altering one's body to fit a certain image is not worth it. She talks about how it damaged her career, her personal life, and how she actually looked and felt better about herself pre-plastic.

Peer Review

The peer review sessions continue to improve. Julie was very thorough in her editing and suggested places where I can expand on my descriptiveness. She also helped me find sentences that I could improve. She helped me locate places in my story where I could be clearer about characters and the scene. When reading her paper, I got some good ideas on how to add descriptions to settings.

Dinner Blog

I left work smelling like a walking Bath and Body Works vendor. I had been doing floor sets until midnight and my toes were blistered red from the pointed shoes I was wearing. My friend had a gift card for Wendy's, so we quickly drove to the drive-thru to eat our well deserved meal. Unfortunately, they were closed, forcing us to go to the grease house of McDonalds. Just by ordering the food I could feel grease drip from my tongue. When the oversized, grumpy cashier handed us our burgers at the last window, we pulled into the first parking space to eat. Despite the pools of grease in my palms, we ate every last bite as if we had been deprived for months. We drove home full, but feeling disgusted with ourselves that we had stooped to the fatty, nasty fast food chain we avoided the most.
To make us feel better and relieve the McDonalds aftertaste, my friend and I made salted lassis, a drink my co-worker Swati taught me to make. I mixed creamy, plain yogurt with two parts water before adding a little salt. To this concoction, I added toasted ground cumin. The cold, thick consistency of the yogurt softened by chilled filtered water refreshed our bodies while we were simultaneously awakened by the warm, comforting taste of the cumin. We went through an entire container of yogurt before we realized it.The next morning, we went to WalMart first thing to pick up some more.

Narrative Reading Response

-These essays differ from the writing I usually do, but they are simliar to some of the reading I did when I was younger. When I was in middle school, I was addicted to the Chicken Soup for the Soul books. These are quite similar to the narratives that I had to read for this assignment. I haven't read them for almost seven years, I automatically thought of them when I read these essays. The writing I usually do is analysis based. I am an English major and I focus primarily on literature. Some may think it's pointless and they can kiss my ass as far as I'm concerned. I want to go to grad school and teach English/literature at a collegiate level...so why wouldn't I do this? Another option I am considering is becoming a drug rep...all I need is a bachelor's degree in SOMETHING. Why not in something that matters to me? Rant aside, this writing is different for me in many ways. I find it odd that grammar and technicalities are unimportant. Actually, I am still not convinced of this becuse I think presentation adds a lot of credibility to the writing. I'm not going to read anything that is poorly written or full of crap-head mistakes! So I have actually struggled with this type of writing. I think I will be better at this narrative assignment becuase in previos essays for this class, we have been writing rebuttals and things that I kinda cared about. In this essay, we will still have our audience in mind, but we will be writing about a personal experience and adding a more creative writing aspect to our papers. The thing I am most worried about is the personal information shared in the essay. I am not used to opening up like this in a class, but I think it could be a good thing, for my writing and for mental healing (at the risk of sounding crazy).

-I think that "Paths Changing" was written to an audience of young people trying to discover who they are. When you are young, it is hard to develop an identity without the influence of others. There are so many people that get stuck in a dictated lifestyle and waste all of their potential. This essay speaks to those people, struggling with the issue of a dictated way of living. So I guess that "coming of age" group of young people would be a primary audience, but it also speaks out to all ages if people are trying to break the mold in which they were placed. Some issues (sexuality, religion besides Mormon, acceptance, etc) are quite different, but can still be relevant to the context of this story.

Free Write #3.... super personal story.

-So this is all of the questions kinda put into one. This is my most personal free write, so I may just condense it and reflect on it instead of typing everything I wrote down. I'm not crazy about having this floating about on the internet.
    So in my town, it is common to get married at the young age of 18. In fact, I am the only one of my friends who isn't married and/or pregnant....and I'M seen as the outcast!! This wasn't always the case, however. When I was 14 I met an older guy named Matt. He was wealthy and successful where I was poor and mediocre. My family really pushed the issue of me staying with him because he was an athletic trainer (2 years later when I was 16) and could take care of me. When I turned 17, we got engaged and everything changed. He actually was never really nice to me, constantly reminding me how below par I was in his eyes. During this time, I began to gain a lot of weight. I was unhappy and had stopped singing everywhere I went. Then the situation worsened. I had a car accident and injured a section of my spine, causing me to be in the hospital for a short time. Not once did Matt visit me! Once I healed up and could ride in a car again, I asked him to slow down when we got to the site of the accident. He fed on my fear and sped up and started swerving to remind me that he called the shots and how it wasn't my place to "boss him." After that, he became physically abusive as well as mentally. I have never felt true fear of anyone until this time in my life. One day, Nanny realized that something didn't add up. She sat me down and told me the story of how she was engaged to someone else when she met my Pawpaw. She told me that she hadn't heard me sing in almost a year and I needed to get out. I went to my friend LauraBeth's house (she had just moved back from 5 years in Michigan) and ended it.
   Two years later, he called me to apologize. He took me out to dinner (though I thought he was going to take me somewhere to kill me) and we talked about everything that happened. When we were together, I wasn't allowed to cut my hair short or have any piercings (other than 1 hole in my ears). Once I had the freedom of being without him, I cut my hair and got 6 piercings (ears and nose). When I met with him, I had such a new-found confidence and appearance he was shocked. He told me how he won $50,000 on a lottery ticket, but that he lost it because he got in a fight with his brother and beat him so badly he had to have facial reconstruction surgery. If he could beat his OWN BROTHER this way, it is very possible that I could've been that victim to his anger issues. After this meeting, I told him I never wanted to speak with him again and I didn't need him. I am currently the happiest I have ever been in a relationship , but I find sometimes that my boyfriend pays for some of the shit I had to endure with Matt. It's not fair, but he is the most understanding person I have ever met. There are no barriers with him and he accepts every detail about me. If I had to go through all of this to get where I am with my boyfriend today, I would do it a million times over. I don't deserve his kindness or his affection, but he is always there. I'm graduating this year and for once in my life, I feel like my life plans are going to work out.

Free Write #2

-OK so another time I was unhappy was when I was in Italy and my boyfriend at the time lost my dog. I was on my senior trip and he was supposed to be "doggie-sitting." I got an international call to hear that Foxie was missing. I was a mess, but I was supposed to be going to Pisa that day so I had to suck it up until I got home. She was a rescue and was scared of some people. When his mom had opened the door to let her out to pee, she thought Foxie was running away so she started chasing her. Let me tell you, this broad is scary even when she's not chasing after you! I don't blame Foxie, I would've ran too!!

-I spend a good 60% of my day singing. I sing in the shower, while I get ready, in my car, walking to class, while I work, etc. Many think I have a problem, but it's just what I do. I can actually read music so I try to keep up on my sight reading skills too. I'm not really good at a whole lot of things, so when I found out I'm good at music, I stuck with it. I was a member of a 3 time regional/state championship Trio team, an a capella group (Tonal Combustion) that was invited to compete at the Lincoln Center in NYC, and I have been in a ton of musicals. These musicals/plays include: Oliver, Smokey Joes' Cafe, Guys and Dolls, The Pajama Game, Annie Get Your Gun, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Anything Goes, Bye Bye, Birdie, Pippin, Aida, Hello Dolly, The Vagina Monologues, and A Memory, a Monologue, a Rant and a Prayer. I miss doing musicals a ton.

-I remember one time my close friend LauraBeth and I decided to run away from home. We didn't know how to do it, so we asked my Nanny for help. We were in the 5th grade and she was being forced to move to Michigan. We thought that if we ran away, she could just stay here with me. So we called Nanny and she came down to my house to assist us. I had bunkbeds so she taught us how to tie sheets together and climb ourselves down the side of the house. She even stood at the bottom outside to make sure we didn't fall! We took our lunch she packed for us and we were off. We have 48 acres of land so we never even made it off our property before we decided it was too hot to be walking and we wanted some sweet tea at Nanny's. She was sitting there waiting on us...somehow she knew that would happen.

Free Write #1

-One of the last times I can remember being upset was when I had to leave my grandparents in GA to come to school in PA. My grandmother (Nanny) is my best friend, though some may find that strange. She is by far the best person I know and had helped me through so much.

-I spend a lot of time reading. I refrain from watching television, but I occasionally will Hulu a show to watch before I go to bed. I find that television can be super influential and inhibits children from thinking for themselves and developing their own ideas. The Disney Channel basically breeds stereotypical zombies through their shows. Every show on there that my little cousins watch shows stereotyping and discrimination. The characters all dress alike, and make fun of those who are different. The show that only the talented are worth anything in life and that it is ok to hurt others because they will all be friends again in the next show. This is not the only reason I don't watch tv though. I think it is mostly just bull crap and the media is so influential these days too. With every commercial we get a reminder on how our bodies aren't perfect or how we could improve our less that acceptable homes. I'm over it and I refuse to have a tv in my apartment.

-mmmmm, experiences? I feel like I am just airing my dirty laundry (and also my good times) on the Internet. Let's see, so my parents divorced when I was 6, then he remarried to the woman with whom he had an affair with. It was ok with me bc I never saw him anyway. I know he did a lot of drugs in younger years and he still drinks a ridiculous amount. Our relationship has just now been reconciled...I am 21 years old. I actually got in a fight at my graduation with some random man who took my dad's seat. I had to beg my dad to come see me graduate and this idiot sat in his spot. This asshole asked me why he should have to watch his kid graduate from the nose bleed section. I asked him to count the chords around my neck and compare them to his kid's. Needless to say, he got up and moved.

peer review

[honesty]
I find peer reviews to be very helpful. I prefer when fewer people read my paper because it is less chaotic. When we meet in larger groups, the conversation is often all over the place. When this happens, it is hard to fully understand which points to take from the review and which were irrelevant. When people get overwhelmed in large groups (like the one at Irving's), they tend to try and prove something or they can't function and properly say what needs to be said. When we get to choose who we work with, the drafts typically turn out better. Not only are we more comfortable with that person's abilities as a writer, we know that they will put forth effort into improving our papers. This has been the most helpful review yet. The others had potential, but they were just a mess.

Vanity, thy Name is Metrosexual

Hackbarth defines the metrosexual as a man who has a very materialistic centered view and who worries about his appearance a bit too much. Sometimes, these men who can "discuss the new season's fashions in intimate detail" can seem homosexual.

What's at stake is the ability to tell if a man is homosexual or metrosexual, and by looking for these men to fall into a stereotype, it makes people seem judgemental.

She uses her own experience with a metrosexual and juxtaposes these men against the idea of the rugged, hardworking "cowboy" type. Her rhetoric makes this metrosexual style a negative thing, where some may actually prefer it.

Definintion

-Censorship inhibits an open mind.
-open mind
1) unprejudiced
2) receptive
2) has enough information to logically reason

Definintion

"No Human Being is Illegal" by Mae M. Ngai

Peer Review

I thought the peer review was helpful, but I think it worked out better for some people than it did for others. Most everyone had input on their group members' papers, but for those just learning how to edit, it took a little extra time. This was good for those people who were learning because they got to see exactly what kind of things to look for on peer review days. Sometimes this setback hindered people from giving god advice or positive feedback. I liked the fact that we sat in an intimate setting, but it was also a bit intimidating due to the group being so large. I got help on making my argument stronger and some forgotten internal citations. I think the group meeting was too large of a meeting for 6 people and at times it could've been more structured to keep us on task. Now that we are more comfortable editing, I think smaller groups will be more beneficial and efficient. The big problem was that students struggled with finding the "big picture" or main idea of each essay. By discussing them and talking about how to make them stronger, this became a lot clearer.

Assignment 2: Rebuttal

"Modified" by Pippa Wysong

Nanotechnology.

Drexler and Smalley are both interested in nanotechnology, but they disagree on the question of the necessity of robot "fingers." They both mention that there is potential abuse with the advance of nanotechnology, but Smalley is basically attacking Drexler.

At stake in their argument is their ethos and nanotechnology's reputation. As they argue, at least one of them will lose credibility in the readers' eyes.

As pointed out in the second piece, the author uses the straw man attack. Basically, he displays the other author's argument in a way that is easily hated by the reader.

Smalley begins with the way chemistry works and applies it to our modern/slang definition of chemistry. This helps his ethos because he seems to know what he is talking about at the beginning. In his essay, Drexler states that he has "a 20 year history of technical publications in this area."

They use hasty generalizations in their arguments and assume what people think.
I personally liked Smalley better because I liked his writing more that Drexler's. I liked how he started out with the way chemistry works and made it applicable to people who don't give a hoot about this subject.

Rhetorical Analysis (pgs 66-69, 70-73)

Jackson's Points: 
CONTEXT:
-Jordan appeals to the audience because she seems unbiased by showing her knowledge and loyalty to the Constitution.
-Jordan's audience was not only a committee, but her speech was public as well.
-The social and cultural happenings that were occurring at the time of this speech included Nixon's Watergate Scandal. This was the exigence for her speech and inspired her to voice her opinion and influence others to impeach him.

TEXTUAL:
-Jackson points out that Jordan presented "herself as fair, knowledgeable, and intellectually mature" on the second page of the analysis. This quickly sets a basis for Jordan to begin establishing her ethos.
-At the end of the analysis, Jackson explains that Jordan focuses on her audience in her conclusion. The arrangement of her writing allows her to present her argument in non-pushy way.
-Jackson writes that Jordan uses a paper shredder metaphor to add "emotional force."

Additional Points:
* As the first African American woman to be elected into the Texas State Senate, Barbara Jordan craftily  used what she had overcome in receiving that position to strengthen her argument.
CONTEXT: -This fact adds to her personal history and exigence for her speech. Also, since she had overcome so much socially in a time where racism was prevalent in our culture, she probably had expectations before delivering her speech that she would influence people.
TEXTUAL: -This fact about Jordan also adds to her ethos and pathos. By being the first African American woman elected, she had already gained the audience's attention and respect. To continue this ethos to trustworthiness, she has to present her argument intellectually (as Jackson pointed out), and entertainingly. In the opening of her speech, Jordan makes her speech and argument personal. In more cases than just this one, when someone begins applying issues to themselves, others begin to reflect as well. This powerful speech did just that by catalyzing an emotional response from the audience.

Assignment 1: Rhetorical Analysis (chosen piece)

"'Real Beauty'-Or Really Smart Marketing?" by Rebecca Traister

Introductory Post :)

    I have had many opportunities to expand my writing skills throughout high school and college. I am a junior at Penn State and taken a few different literature courses in the past few years. Due to an issue with my transfer credits, I have to take English 15 this summer. Though I am one of the elderly and decrepit students in the class, I think that this course will be good for me in a few ways. Not only will I get a good review, I’ll be able to stay sharp on my writing abilities while I practice writing informal paragraphs such as this one. I think that in every turn in one’s life, there will be something new to learn. Though I am irritated with the office that handles transfer credits, I have a good attitude about this summer. I believe that this class will be enlightening and help me to grow as a writer. I enjoy reading existentialist works and writing fictional short stories; however, I don’t think I will ever be completely satisfied with my literacy level. In my humble opinion, complete literacy is unattainable. There will always be ways to improve and I intend on putting forth the effort to grow in everyway that I can.