Editing

7 things:

1-Credible sources are sited in all (ethos)
2-The Marijuana essay also gave the reader a timeline and background info on the topic.
3-The Marijuana essay ended strongly, tieing up everything that was mentioned in the story and addressing "Ms. Healy"
4-The transitions were smooth, adding to the flow of the essay
5-In the steroid essay, the writer addresses the reader at the beginning of the story, asking him/her to picutre a scenario.
6-Stories evoke emotion for the reader (pathos)
7-Marijuana essay presented us with statistics.

5 things:

1-I need to clear up the author's main point I am rebutting.
2-Rewrite my introduction to make my paper's purpose less ambiguous.
3-I need to work out a couple transitions (flow)
4-I need to establish ethos.
5-Stronger conclusion.

Lady Gaga

  In this article, Camille Paglia writes that Lady Gaga is not a sex icon for many reasons. She is labeled as a fake for her wardrobe and hair choices as well as her fabricated loser persona. She wears crazy outfits topped with outlandish wigs. Surely someone who dresses like this doesn't belong in the category of sexy. She is a sensation in night clubs and bars (where her young fans typically are) and looks the part as well. She claims to want to help everyone love themselves and be comfortable in their bodies. She calls them her "monsters" and she says that she can relate to feeling like them; however, she went to an expensive private school that Paris Hilton attended in New York. She also criticizes Gaga's videos and the content within them. Samantha Cohen kind of helps Gaga out in "The Gaga Stigmata" blog. She relates Gaga's video content to literary aspects and Chinese symbols, increasing her credibility.

Proposal

I am evaluating the show "The Biggest Loser" as a bad influence on viewers because:

-it adds to negative stereotyping on Americans and overweight individuals.
-it preys on people insecurites, adding to the media's influence/pressure that people should be thin.
-it discourages healthy weight loss by making it seem imperative and something that needs to be done harshly/immediately (trainer's attitudes/techniques).

Oliver, J. Eric. Fat Politics. New York, NY:Oxford University Press, 2006. 120-73. Print.

-This book provides insight on how the panic over obesity is actually the problem.

Sisson, Mark. "The Biggest Loser… Is the Audience ." Mark's Daily Apple. The BlogStudio, 29 10  
     2009. Web. 1 Aug 2011. <http://www.marksdailyapple.com/biggest-loser/>.

-This blog talks about how people are affected by the show in general.

Thomas, Samantha, Jim Hyde, and Paul Komesaroff. "'Cheapening the Struggle:' Obese People's
      Attitudes Towards The Biggest Loser." Obesity Management. 3.5(2007): 210-215. Print. 

-This journal provides a scholarly overview of how viewers are psychologically influenced by the show.

Cultural Interests

The Biggest Loser is a popular show where overweight people compete to lose weight. If they lose the most weight and win the contest, they win a cash prize. Appropriately, it aired first in America in 2004. Globally, Americans are associated with being overweight. This show adds to that stereotype. Also, it adds to the media based/social pressure to be thin. This show teaches viewers that being heavy is a quality that should lower their self-esteem and feel bad about themselves. While it is argued and proven on some accounts about health benefits of weightloss, who said that being skinny should be the norm? Author Eric Oliver argues in his book Fat Politics that "it's not obesity, but the panic over obesity, that's the real health problem." This show is a prime example of this.

Cosmopolitan Magazine has been a popular read for 125 years. While there are many topics addressed between the pages, the primary focus is on sex and sexuality. I have mixed feelings about this and so does the general public from what I gather. On one hand, it is a good thing that women can read about other people's experiences with sex and gain information on different aspects of sex. For a long time, sex and sexuality were kept hush-hush. As time progresses, it is important that we become more liberal and accepting instead of stuck in our conservative ways that breed shame and fear into things we should celebrate...like our sexuality. On the other hand, Cosmo feeds America's need for stereotypes. All of the women are portrayed as thin, neighboring articles about how to lose weight. The men are all portrayed as muscular and "ideal." Women are the main audience for this publication, and the impact it has on them is crucial. While they are promoting open mindedness and self awareness, they are also pushing those who don't fit the stereotypical mold into a corner.

Heidi Montag is a reality star from "The Hills"-a show documenting (though scripted) the daily lives of wealthy, beautiful people in California. She began her stardom as a thin, small-breasted, attractive girl, but now has a completely new appearance. She has undergone 10+ plastic surgeries, and some of them twice. While many people think she is a bad example of someone to show their kids, I think she is a great teaching model for young women. Because her life is over-documented in the media, it is easy to find out about her endeavors. In an interview with Life and Style magazine, she discusses her surgeries and how they have impacted her. Through this interview and some internet research on Heidi, it is easy to gather the message that altering one's body to fit a certain image is not worth it. She talks about how it damaged her career, her personal life, and how she actually looked and felt better about herself pre-plastic.

Peer Review

The peer review sessions continue to improve. Julie was very thorough in her editing and suggested places where I can expand on my descriptiveness. She also helped me find sentences that I could improve. She helped me locate places in my story where I could be clearer about characters and the scene. When reading her paper, I got some good ideas on how to add descriptions to settings.

Dinner Blog

I left work smelling like a walking Bath and Body Works vendor. I had been doing floor sets until midnight and my toes were blistered red from the pointed shoes I was wearing. My friend had a gift card for Wendy's, so we quickly drove to the drive-thru to eat our well deserved meal. Unfortunately, they were closed, forcing us to go to the grease house of McDonalds. Just by ordering the food I could feel grease drip from my tongue. When the oversized, grumpy cashier handed us our burgers at the last window, we pulled into the first parking space to eat. Despite the pools of grease in my palms, we ate every last bite as if we had been deprived for months. We drove home full, but feeling disgusted with ourselves that we had stooped to the fatty, nasty fast food chain we avoided the most.
To make us feel better and relieve the McDonalds aftertaste, my friend and I made salted lassis, a drink my co-worker Swati taught me to make. I mixed creamy, plain yogurt with two parts water before adding a little salt. To this concoction, I added toasted ground cumin. The cold, thick consistency of the yogurt softened by chilled filtered water refreshed our bodies while we were simultaneously awakened by the warm, comforting taste of the cumin. We went through an entire container of yogurt before we realized it.The next morning, we went to WalMart first thing to pick up some more.

Narrative Reading Response

-These essays differ from the writing I usually do, but they are simliar to some of the reading I did when I was younger. When I was in middle school, I was addicted to the Chicken Soup for the Soul books. These are quite similar to the narratives that I had to read for this assignment. I haven't read them for almost seven years, I automatically thought of them when I read these essays. The writing I usually do is analysis based. I am an English major and I focus primarily on literature. Some may think it's pointless and they can kiss my ass as far as I'm concerned. I want to go to grad school and teach English/literature at a collegiate level...so why wouldn't I do this? Another option I am considering is becoming a drug rep...all I need is a bachelor's degree in SOMETHING. Why not in something that matters to me? Rant aside, this writing is different for me in many ways. I find it odd that grammar and technicalities are unimportant. Actually, I am still not convinced of this becuse I think presentation adds a lot of credibility to the writing. I'm not going to read anything that is poorly written or full of crap-head mistakes! So I have actually struggled with this type of writing. I think I will be better at this narrative assignment becuase in previos essays for this class, we have been writing rebuttals and things that I kinda cared about. In this essay, we will still have our audience in mind, but we will be writing about a personal experience and adding a more creative writing aspect to our papers. The thing I am most worried about is the personal information shared in the essay. I am not used to opening up like this in a class, but I think it could be a good thing, for my writing and for mental healing (at the risk of sounding crazy).

-I think that "Paths Changing" was written to an audience of young people trying to discover who they are. When you are young, it is hard to develop an identity without the influence of others. There are so many people that get stuck in a dictated lifestyle and waste all of their potential. This essay speaks to those people, struggling with the issue of a dictated way of living. So I guess that "coming of age" group of young people would be a primary audience, but it also speaks out to all ages if people are trying to break the mold in which they were placed. Some issues (sexuality, religion besides Mormon, acceptance, etc) are quite different, but can still be relevant to the context of this story.